So, a year had gone and now i'm a jobless girl that trying to bet her fortune by entering a hell (read : collage) once again. Hehe... i know it a little bit metaphoring, but since i'm actually not really sure and confident about what i already choose, i say it like that. Honestly i'm afraid. Is this decision was right or not. Is there really a significant difference about doing it or not. Kind of thought... and it being more complicated by day. But, since it alredy decised, i'm just need to working harder and make sure it lead to the right path. Ah, wish me luck!
In this past year, i'm trying to be more wise person. I know, trying to change the way you are is difficult, but i'm tired holding a lot grudge on my mind. So, i choose to let it go, all of them...
The first thing i do that been a while suffocating me was about my old friends. My high school best friend. Since i left my home town years ago, we literally being so drifted. There is always a say like "Time never change people" or "There is nothing can change friendship" and more... But in my case, what happen was totally the opposite. In the end, i feel like being left out because i dunno anything about them anymore. And asking about them feel so awkward and just not right. Even they still there, the feel was already gone. I feel like were doing friendship just for formality. To make people around us keep silent and not asking anything. What the hell friendship like that...
But, now i'm done with that thought. I don't wanna being hurt about it anymore. If we can stay the same, so what?? Just doing what left... and stop expecting more. Maybe we can't be best friend anymore, so let just deleted the best word and stay as a friend. what so hard about it? I just don't wanna say you guys still my bff because the fact is were not anymore. Best friend is supposed to have more than we have now... let's face it now... let's stop pretending were still fine and same, because were not... and there is nothing wrong about it. It just what we called life. If life stay same, when we'll growing up?
So, i left them go. Maybe they dunno what i feel, but the point is not them but my self. I left them go, so i can breath more easily and lightning my burden. Before, i was scared about losing them, but now, after it done i realize that i'm more than fine. Still, i cherish the memory with them. It was one of my best moment in my life. I really thank them for being my best friend at that time. Now, i'll see you as friend and let's getting along well.
toodles ^^
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